so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—
here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:
it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.
so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
you have to pay for pay per view.
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”
AS A FAMILY.
and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.
“i received the tv bill today,” my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. “does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?”
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography
silence.
my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”
silence.
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”
WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?
“don’t expose my kid to that crap.”
DON’T
EXPOSE
MY KID
TO THAT CRAP
“if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room.”
I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
IN THE LIVING ROOM
but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
are you fucking kidding
i did not want to go to porn prison
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences
but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?
Black Lives Matter is held to such a ridiculously high standard. If anyone who is REMOTELY associated with BLM commits an act of violence, white people use it as an excuse to smear the name of the entire movement.
Cops can murder unarmed Black people and many white folks still jump to defend the police force.
People love to talk about whether or not disabled people can work
but if you can work just fine and your disability is destroying your ability to have a life outside of work (because work takes all your energy and more)
Dead silence. Nobody cares.
File this under, oh you can be active for 4 hours? You can work part-time. Um no, I have to get ready for work (30 min) get to work (15 min) get home from work (15 min) feed myself all day (30 min) maintain myself, my home and my life (15 min, yeah right), which leaves 15 min for work and absolutely nothing else.
This is so accurate, back after I’d relapsed I wanted to try and go in for one class at school so I could still stay in contact with the education system. I let slip during a meeting that I managed to drag myself to that I could manage about 4 hours of activity a week, which the teacher sprang on to mean I was being lazy for just trying to get to 1 hour class. Never matter that it was 30 minutes travel, that I would have to get washed and dressed, that I would probably still need to recover for 3 days from it.
Far too often abled people see the things they do easily as “non activities”, they don’t realise that for many disabled people these things have to be carefully planned and measured, and sometimes they simply can’t be done.
reblog bc the non activities thing seems really important words
I get X number of pain-free steps per day right now, which means that, for large conventions (like SDCC), I need to be in a mobility device. I had someone ask if I used up my steps every day before transferring to the scooter, and look surprised and a little horrified when I said “no, I save them so I can go to the bathroom unassisted.” Like, they had never considered that walking is involved in peeing.
!
Reblogging for the important point that the term “activity” may mean something very different and much broader for a disabled person with a chronic pain or fatigue related condition compared to its meaning for a non disabled person. If you’re tired enough, simply sitting up in a chair rather than lying in bed is an activity that drains energy otherwise usable for other things. A thing I knew from other people with pain and fatigue related conditions, but worth reinforcing for followers who didnt know or had forgotten.
This is horrifying and gross, because the list includes:
Cranberry sauce and pie filling. (Poor people can forget about making dessert for Thanksgiving dinner.)
Creamed vegetables
Baked beans
Pickles
Pork and beans
Frozen veggies that come in packages featuring pasta, nuts, rice, cheese, or meats
French fries and hash browns
Sharp cheddar cheese, Swiss, and fresh mozzarella, shredded and sliced cheeses (except American cheese of course), cheese food, spreads, and products. Even Kosher cheese is banned unless you apply to get a specific check for it which basically could identify who the poor Jewish people are.(This is really gross and skeevy because of how this is isolating Jewish people and outing them.)
Canned peas and green beans
Albacore tuna, red salmon, and fish fillets
Bagels, pita bread, English muffins
White rice and wild rice
Taco shells
Almond, rice, goat, and soy milk.
Brown eggs and any eggs produced by cage-free or free range chickens, which basically helps corporate chicken farms
Several kinds of infant food
Anything in bulk
Anything organic or natural
here’s the list, for anyone who’s skeptical like i am. it’s on a real-ass government-ass website. i am, tbh, disgusted.
Thanks for the link. That is horrifying and disgusting.
The list is actually worse- no peanuts, SEASONINGS, SOUPS, any canned beans, WHITE RICE, anything organic or natural, and anything like lactose free/kosher milk, or anything that might be necessary to a religious group or someone with conditions such as celiac or lactose intolerance basically have to fill out forms which singles them out based on health/religious reasons.
This is really, really gross.
Is it just me or did they basically rule out basically all the cheapest and easiest to prepare food? Because that is bullshit.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
I have food stamps in a different state and this list is essentially my grocery just when I go to the store. These are easy to prepare, quick, filling meals and most of them have a long shelf life and can be stored for emergencies or of you use up your food stamps before the end of the month. This is absolutely a blatant act of violence against poor families and I hope it continues to gain more national outrage.
Wait. What? How? Why? Huh?
They… They can’t buy potatoes?! Which has more potassium than a banana?! Or nuts?! Which are the best blend of magnesium, calcium, protein, and healthy fats that nature ever made?!
I don’t… I don’t understand. There is no way this is concerned with poor people’s nutrition at all.
So what are they allowed to buy on food stamps? Boiled air?
Interesting fact number one: Wisconsin is a state with a large number of Hmong immigrants, or people of Hmong descent. I believe that only Minnesota has a larger Hmong population.
Interesting fact number two: the first words that come up when I google for “Hmong cuisine” are these: “The Hmong staple food is white rice …”
How the fuck…can you deny the poor…rice and beans. Rice and beans are essential fucking staples for poor people. They can be bought in bulk. They are high in nutrition. They last a long fucking time.
Oh, but wait…THEY DON’T ALLOW POOR PEOPLE TO BUY IN BULK.
What is their logic to this? Because all I see here is, “punishing poor people for being poor.” There is NO FUCKING REASON for this. Most of these items cannot remotely be considered ‘luxury.’ To ever deny the poor to buy CANNED or BULKED GOODS is just…mind-blowingly terrible. When I have money, I buy things in bulk for when I don’t…I just…what?!
How the hell do you make it illegal for poor people to buy food? This is so wrong and disgusting.
Given the number of extremely cheap items on the list it looks like a way to discourage people from even using food stamps and either scraping together money for food somehow, or relying on private charities.
Is there any single fund or movement to supply food banks in Wisconsin with food specifically from that list in large amounts?
THIS IS BLATANT CLASS WARFARE AND EVERY DECENT HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE DISGUSTED BY IT.
i feel really uncomfortable doing this since i’m not literally dying here but my roommate and i are in a pretty tough situation right now. long story short, we have to raise $1050 usd before the end of the month or else i will be forced to move back in with my abusive family and my disabled roommate will be unable to attend school and will possibly be homeless. (her parents no longer have a room for her. any family/friends who have offered her housing are allergic to her service animal, and that separation would be detrimental to her health.)
i am personally short $300 and she is short $750. my roommate has created a gofundme for her portion. you can also hear a more detailed description of our situation there. i do personalized tarot readings that you can learn more about here. you can also just plainly donate by clicking on the donation button on the sidebar of my blog. i am too afraid to make a gofundme in fear that my parents will find it. any help at all would be greatly appreciated. we are out of resources and $1050 usd short. truly anything helps! ♡
i’ve updated this post with a link to my roommate’s gofundme
This post is going to rushed but I’m still shaking and it’s hard to type but I NEED people to know this
My mom just took my dog to the vet
She(my dog) was(still is?) having a seizure
Last month we took my dog to the vet and they told us she had developed diabetes, they told us it was caused by the food she was eating, purina beneful.
They told us that there have been many many many reports of Beneful has been causing diabetes, seizures, and even death in dogs.
We had no idea
We immediately switched her food and put her on a special diet plan for her diabetes, unfortunately the effects were already permeate.
Today at 11:20 my mom woke me up crying, I helped her carry my dog to the car (while she was still having a seizure) and watched her drive away red faced and still crying.
Please please PLEASE if you are feeding your pets Purina beneful PLEASE switch their food ASAP
Beneful is poising dogs and I don’t want anyone else to experience what I just did
Also if you could please help me signal boost this so everyone can know
This would explain why my dog has seizures now…fucking hell
Reblog and save lives of dogs
found out purina was the reason my dog winston had been having seizures and puking. please don’t feed your dog purina.
reblog even if you don’t own a dog or even if you’re not “a dog person” because I can’t even imagine how horribly depressed I would be if this happened to my dog
My dog had kidney failure cause of purina😔
Purina is the shittiest company in the world
Considering making a blog of all the nice things my lovers have done for me.
